Focusing Flower

Focusing process:

Happily I felt the presence of the space of ‘not knowing’ to which I can quit easily shift to when it’s my turn to be the Listener. Now it was my starting point as a focuser. This space felt light, open, an embracing, alert, endless field. My listening partner invited me to check my body.  And soon my attention was drawn to a place deep down in my belly, which a was

Focusing flower

Focusing flower

already familiar with encountering in sessions I experienced before.( focusing attitude – dropping attention to the body level).  It was dark there, scary and fearful. Cautiously I stayed put, as if standing in front of a thick walled shelter hiding something really scary  inside.  My inner critic came along saying: this is all bullshit, stop, this is too much for you to handle, you are not strong enough” I shifted my attention to her while keeping a fair distance not getting tempted to identify with her words and started a dialog with her in which she revealed her fears and worries for me. ( in focusing, when we give attention to what's there – it can shift )

Since we became friends in earlier sessions, she didn’t needed much time to allow the process to continue and I put my attention back into my belly.      ( focusing relationship )  . I actually felt as if she gave me courage. The shelter walls started to crack and disappeared altogether leaving a small seed behind. A small vulnerable seed in which all of the fears were compressed. With my gently attention the  seed started to sprout and grew through my body, leaves unfolding, all very gentle and slow. A bud appeared in my chest area, opened into a fragile white flower . This is who I am, I whispered, a fragile white flower. The tremendous fear hid a beautiful, fragile white flower. I realized I no longer needed to try to be anything else, no strong tall tree, no bush full of colorful flowers trying to be somebody special making a difference, being noticed. There I was,  a single, beautiful, fragile white flower which felt no less then any other. She was, is, exactly what she’s supposed to be ( focusing quality – acceptance ). I rested in that feeling for a while. My listening partner suggested to see if there was any connection between this flower and the not-knowing space. From the flower branches of golden light started to grow into the vastness of not –knowing, creating magnificent curls and spirals connecting between the inner and outer, the flower and the not-knowing space, the fear and the light.

My listening partner suggested I would attempt to paint this session and here it is.

My gratitude to my to amazing, beautiful teachers, Anat and Ifat, to my listening partners in the life changing sessions, to myself and to life’s process.

Anna Jongeleen

( maagan michael focusing course )

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